Last Summer (May 2018) I was dealing with a lot of depression and just really aimless after being diagnosed with Anxiety Disorder and depression. I was staying in my sisters and bro in laws house and I was really struglling to get back on my feet. Things were not going well, i couldn’t work in corporate again after trying and failing after only 3 days AND i had a leg issue that was preventing me from walking without chronic pain. My sisters got together and sent me to South Africa for treatment, it was very kind of them. I was dealing with some resentment because they didn’t really try to understand what was going on with me and they kind of hid from what i was going through but I did appreciate them taking me in and I did appreciate the help they gave me by incurring the costs and my younger sister orgazning the trip.
I met with John Dutton a guy who founded the Hypnosis academy and spent a very productive 10 days with him and lived by the beach in a resort. My sisters went all out on this and i was grateful. I was also extremely lonely and i was vulnerable. Over the 10 days with John, i got 5 sessions recorded that I can play back and this amazing summary below: which I was not able to appreciate until now (Nov 2019)..when my life really did turn around and change for the better.
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| Page 1 of the report |
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| Page 2 of the report |
I haven’t shared this with too many people but prior to visiting John, i stopped off at one of the most beautiful drives that I’ve seen on the planet: Chapman’s Peak in Cape Town. It was here that I thought for a few seconds of killing myself by jumping down. I was on a rock ledge and I thought okay it would be painless because i would die on impact. But two things saved me…I heard voices in an adjacent rock and I immediately thought of my mom. And how heartbroken she would be and I couldnt’ do that to her. here are the pics from that time..
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| This is what a suicidal person and depressive looks like. |
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| This was the ledge i was crawling off when i took this picture. |
I hope to use my experience about mental illness and hopefully help others. I know what it;s like to feel despair and when I came back i was in the height of my food addiction and diagnosed with major depressive disorder and was one of the worst time in my life since 1998-1999. I will tell that story in another day.
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