I did some productive steps to work today on both accounts. I rested and I went and enjoyed the gym. I do feel very sad though and I know it's my broken heart..who knew unrequited love could be so hard to deal with. My aca friend said it likes withdrawal from heroin. I deleted all of A.'s emails and texts..well really I deleted the last email I had from her. I'm a 46 year old sick puppy..and it scares me that I'm fucking approaching 50. But let's just take a year at a time. Now I lick my wounds and try to kill and last fantasy hopes and denial that I have, that she will love me romantically, that I could even go there, even though the desire and fantasy is so strong. I WANT the experience, I dunno if it's my inner kid that I'm confusing with my adult desire..it was so intoxicating getting a message from her. And I hate to keep looking at myself like this..its so fucking intense.
Sent from my BlackBerry 10 smartphone.
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