I feel depression rearing it's ugly head but more fatigue. I can still get pleasure in things and experiences but mostly i just want to lie down or watch a show and distract. Things that are bothering me right now:
1. upoming trip to jamaica , don't want to go feeling like this and also worried about being teased for my weight gain. also having to buy a suit and pack when i really don't feel like doing this.
2. invoicing and being so late and not being motivated to do work.
3. taxes personal and corporate taxes
4. antonios upcoming birthday lunch on june 7th and mom's bday on june 8th , all feels so overwhelming right now.
5. rodney coming for the grandprix and being in a position to have to see him when i don't really feel like it.
6. really upset with God, having a hard time knowing when this will end, not wanting to binge, working on my steps instead of being so lazy and procrastinating it. being willing to call sponsor and just doing the right things for me.
7. unwanted attention from women , it really annoys me.
8. lack of sexual drive and inability to get intimacy .
9. figuring out sexuality or not figuring it out.
10. just self compassion with myself for everything that's so fucking hard. everything.
i'm doing the next right action, completing my census now.
