a letter to God

Dear Dear sweet god, thank you for a night of abstinence. I’m so grateful after all that bingeing over the weekend. Thank you for protecting me and guiding me out of the most horrible driving conditions. I really thought I was done for after the spin on the 401 and the snow squall. So very grateful that I was saved a crash and I feel sad that so many others we not spared. I am so very happy to be back in montreal and regrouping before I see my mom again. Feel so happy that I could see her and thank you god for the break in between seeing the family in Lake placid which was a wonderful blessing and focusing on the friendships that matter. I am proud for trying to be with my mom for making the effort on Christmas Eve. God please help me with work and supporting myself and the debting and overspending God. Is there anything that you can help me with re: French , work, abstinence and tenant god. Am doing my best with debtors anonymous but it’s so hard to make and stick with a budget.

Dear Sweet Sweet child, breathe little one it’s going to be okay my love. Trust us little one, we will point you in the right direction and you will find a way my sweet. It’s all going to be okay my love. We are so very proud of you, for leaving the chocolate cookies behind when we knew that it reminded you so much of your childhood in South Africa. For throwing away that slice of cheesecake and giving yourself a chance of abstinence and for getting on the ACA and FAA calls last night and connecting with your fellows. We are so very proud of you for that. It’s going to be okay little one., we are so glad to see you willing to do whatever you can. Please don’t despair when people don’t reply to you or take you for granted little one, that is about them and not about you. Keep nurturing yourself little one and providing the love and comfort you need so you don’t depend so much on others. Others have a right to set their boundaries little one and it really isn’t so much about you as it is about their own personal space. You are doing your best little one, it will come. We promise you :) Love God.

A letter from God

 Struggling with weight gain, shame in showing it to family. Work pressures and dealing with life and addiction one day at a time. 

From God:

My dear sweet and loving child, breathe little one. I’ts all going to be okay. You do not have to do this all on your own little one, trust in the process. We are so very proud that you reached out to us. And also to a newcomer and to do the meetings and to take a call from a friend you havent talked to in a while. Keep coming to us with the challenges and anxieties little one and all will be well. We can handle it. You are loved and adored little one.  We are sorry about the physical weight gain and the anguish it is causing you. You are doing the very best you can and we love you for that. It’s all going to be okay little one. 

2 way prayer today

Hi God, I’m very grateful to be abstinent last night. I mean no bingeing and I’m glad I went for extra protein triggered by my binge behaviour which is watching shows on couch, please help me release this behaviour god. It’s so very painful to sit with feelings and going into despair and loneliness. I am so glad I connected to a couple friends who reached out to me yesterday via text. I am glad that I shared without wearing a mask about how I was feeling which was very low and I did it on zoom video so people could see I was struggling. I am so scared God, everything is so hard: work, finances , abstinence, relationships lack, mood, self esteem. I’m so scared of things getting worse. Please help me god this is such an awful time.

Dear Dear Dear sweet child, breathe little one. We are so very proud of the small changes you are taking for self care, so very proud little one :) Abstinence is truly the best form of self care little one and we are glad that you are feeling better sweet child. It’s okay that things are hard little one and we are sorry that you have to do this alone. You are not entirely alone little one, we are here and we will support you and guide you to the doors to knock on next little one. We know how tiring it is to keep fighting. Enjoy where you are, your place your gifts. Keep your spending in check with D.A. and honesty. Remember that you are so very loved little one, so very loved.