Feeling sad

I miss A, I miss her so much. When I found out that it was announced  I'm in montreal and she probably heard,.I wish she had contacted me. ‎I don't know what else to say other than I can't get closure with her and I'm starting to hold her on a pedestal. There's a part of me a big part that wants to forget but I'm not sure how to.

It was a lovely day, the church group was amazing and I liked standing up for myself.

I reached out to my mom.

And I'm driving back to start my new job and life and I know that I just need to take it day by day.

Happy with dave and the meeting.

Really attracted to Dominica.

Okay with sleeping and watching homeland was nice.

It was nice to chat with nick and to hear the podcast recommend by terry.

I'm tired because I had interrupted sleep.

Toronto visit was actually nice and low stress.

Sent from my BlackBerry 10 smartphone.

Driving to toronto

Well here we go again. I binged last night and I feel the hangover of such ‎a binge. It was awful it was a bag of popcorn from kernels store. Cheddar popcorn and then ate bout 5 square of apple crumble and then a LOT of cashews fuck fuck fuck. I felt horrible this morning and I got up at 5am and went to the gym. So that was that. 

Right now I'm driving to Toronto. I just attended an online OA meeting and I shared that I was struggling and that really helped. I'll do some journaling later. This is just an update. My sister just sent me a text and asked me where I would be staying and I kinda regret telling my niece that I'd be coming down. I feel sick, mentally and physically and I really just want to isolate. 

I'll turn this over to God and see what happens, I'm in their hands. God help me please.

Sent from my BlackBerry 10 smartphone.