binge today

 Dear god so fucking tired of binehing and getting triggered 

What the fuck god what the fuck

More chips more fat more fatigue and more hating on myself. I hate hate being addicted god, I hate feeling like I'm always doing this wrong. I hate getting triggered by stupid cunts like resh, saying 12 steps is garbage when I'm already feeling so unsure so vulneravle so lost.  Please help me god. What do u have to say?

Dear sweet boy breathe 

We love you little one

Pixk yourself and let go of this setback little one turn it over to me and get back on track my sweet. We are so very sorry we love you immensley and it hurts us when u suffer my love. I know good things are xoming your way your mind and body will be clear my sweet boy and u will once again be able to toleraye your feelings without picking up food and junk. Trust the process little one. Take care of yourself and know that your mom, resh, sisters everyone has their own higher power and all will be well my sweet. All will be well. We love you immensley little one and all will be well.

2 way prayer today.

 Dear sweet god, Thank you for last night with the food. Didn't want to reach for porn but I did. I'm going to crawl out of my skin without junk to munch on. Life feels so hard and stressful at night. Aging, money, looks, and no french, inability to call and feel I'm too rigid. Please help me get out of the roller coaster godf. Its survival mode now and I'm not doing that even.

Just feel low energy and unable to do anything. Please come to me.

My sweet sweet boy, we are so sorry little one, we are so very sorry. There there all will be okay my sweet.

Keep breathing and yogaing and putting one foot in front of the other.

Your meals and exercise are getting better.

Let the rest follow little one, let the rest follow. Trust us little one

Go to queer church in toronto and sing. You feel the spirit there.

Let your insides and outsides be one. We love you little one so so much you have come so far and we love and adore you.