Trusting HP and giving them my fears.

Dear dear sweet god. I need your help today please and thank you as always for your blessings. God I really truly appreciate the help to make friends with Max. I feel so happy to face my fears, please god, protect my heart please God give me the strength to face rejection and humiliation for whatever else happens. I need you today my dearest sweet God, please take away my paralyzing fear today God.

My dear dear sweet sweet boy, you don’t have to ask, it’s okay my love. It’s okay, breath my little sweet boy, breathe. We love you so very very much. I know you are afraid of getting hurt and it will be painful my son, we are not going to sugar coat it, it will hurt but we will give you the strength to handle it and it will pass my dear sweet sweet boy, it will pass. You can’t ever be abandoned any more son , you are no longer powerless and helpless, you can turn to us and your little tribe to help you and comfort you and soothe you little one. You are no longer that helpless repressed little boy, you can be free my love please do not despair. We will shine our love and protection on you and I will help you little one. Do not despair little one it’s all going to be okay . We love and adore you and are so proud of you little one. We are so happy to see you and you don’t have to be perfect any more little one, you are allowed to make mistakes. You are allowed little one. Please do not despair my love. Trust me my love.

today's 2 way prayer

Dear Dear God, WTF WTF I don’t want to keep bingeing and hating myself please show me the door and path to you dear God. I want to feel the peace and know the next right action. It is so very hard god, please guide me out of the despair.

Dearest Sweet sweet boy, it’s okay my little one. Remember 4-4-6 ujai breathing. Remember art of living meditation I am so very sorry that love has been so elusive for you. Love of yourself, love of others and most of all, romantic love. It is so painful little one, I know it is. you were never meant to live life solo. You were meant to love and be loved. Don’t despair my boy, better days are ahead. Look at al the gifts you received yesterday, what a nice conversation you had with Denis. Let Go and let love my dear one. Trust me dear, TRUST Me. You are so very very loved and adored.

2 way prayer wednesday morning

Dear Dear Dear Dearest God, thank you dear loving God for keeping me safe and helping me bounce back after I numbed myself with food the other day. God, when will the frustration and rage stop. When will the tears come dear sweet God? It’s so hard to keep getting up everyday, putting my adult pants on and trying to be hopeful and optimistic. I’ve been angry with the world and feeling like my life is slipping away. What’s the point of having all this love and compassion and empathy if I turn it against myself with food bingeing, people pleasing , codependency and other addictions. It’s ridiculous, please help me god.

My dear dear sweet boy, haaaaaaa, deep breath my love. It’s all going to be okay. It’s all working out perfectly. I am so sorry that you are going through this my love. Please do the next right action, set the boundary, self care, clean your place, take your medication water the plants and shower little one. It’s all happening perfectly and yes this too shall pass. I weep too my love, humanity is frail and flawed and I feel powerless tooo. We want you to to be filled with love, joy, hope and inspired purpose. It’s not a natural state to be in despair. All we know is love and we want that for you too, hang in there little one.