I woke up this morning after using food last night to deal with my horrible shame last night and the beer didn't help. I'm intolerant of alcohol it lowers my defence and drives me to the food. I'm upset with myself but I shared with my friend and I'll share with my sponsor and move the fuck on. I get no emotional sobriety and I have to deal with my social anxiety which sets my brain on a tangent. I got a nice Indian girls number, she's from South Africa 🇿🇦 but dang , so fucking conservative, I felt pressure from being alone with couples and being setup and wanting to please my mom. I have no intention of seeing this girl , I'm bisexual and I can't choose whom I love and that I'm attracted to men romantically and really just want to have sex with woman. I also discovered I have terrible woman phobia from the hurt and what I witnessed with my mom and sisters. I don't want to put anyone in a box but I need someone who's not in a box.
As for A. Fuck her. I kept feeling rejected and emotionally manipulated. I'm angry and I need to let it out. fuck you God, my HP loves me and I don't care if it's not G.O.D, so tired of all the pressure .
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