I feel pretty wrecked god, so much pain, what am I supposed to learn from this. I can adapt to every situation. Thank you for the screaming I enjoyed that , authentic screaming from pain. Fuck I hate my age and my body, I hate how old I am and how fast it flew by. It’s awful god to be in this position, just awful. Willing to help out people as I can. hurts so much to sit to sleep to stand, only thing I can do is lie down on a pillow. Just awful god, this is fucking bullshit, the timing is horrendous or is it , am I just wasting my fucking time. Fuck you god. Earthing is so fucking hard and it never stops, fuck you. Even if I’m in end I get the food addiction to keep me in checked and add to the misery fuck you God. Sometimes I just don’t wan tot live in this agony, this painful miserable fucking existence.
Sweet sweet boy, oh how I missed talking to you little one. Come to me, and I appreciate the talk today. We are so very proud of you little one, we see you suffer and you still act with humility tenderness and kindness listen one. It’s okay my sweet boy, it’s okay. All will be well. This too shall pass. Please do not compare yourself with others. Coming to Quebec was like coming to a different country little one. You suffered for so long at the call center and the last 3 .5 years moving and with addiction little one, you didn’t do it by yourself you had help and you helped others little one. We don’t every want you to feel like you had it easy little one. You struggled and suffered mostly in silence little one , we want you to know that you are not alone and we have not abandoned you and never will my sweet. Keep showing up, keep coming to me and keep doing your very best little one, it will all be okay my sweet boy, it will all be okay. Love gods.
