It’s so very painful. I keep sending my family messages only for them to ignore me. I fucking hate it. I realize I do the same but it hurts so much. Why Krisen, you even uninstalled signal and you keep trying and you keep getting hurt and feel so much of shame. Isn’t it time little one, isn’t it time to not reach out to those that can’t give you what you need. I feel so sorry for my mom and what she must go through. I realized that I’m not my mom’s higher power and she has her own ways of dealing with her wounds and rejection. Hurt people hurt people, ain’t that the fucking truth. Thank you Claire for relating to me. It’s so so very hard to be in my skin. It’s such a lonely existence now. I’m trying so very hard to be kind and gentle with myself. I just want to let go and grieve. I hate being stuck. I hate it I hate it so fucking much. I hate being wounded and I hate feeling so powerless.
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