I'm packed up, have my gym clothes. I was so angry this morning..my mom has a way of getting in my skin and psychi. I'm fed up and frustrated to still be dealing with this fucking shit! I'm fucking 46 and with my mom the anxiety the irritation, the depression and the rage builds up. I'm tired of her, tired of her fucking cooking and I just want her to fucking leave me alone. She has become a miserable pathetic version of herself. If this is what aging is then please le me end it now..i don't want to fucking grow old like Merv and my mom and all the other emotionally damaged and needy fucks!
I scream in the car, I told A. and mom, fuck you guys for hurting me. I screamed at the top of my lungs and I hate doing that because it hurts my vocal cords.
Right now I'm off to the gym, and then church and then support group..and then volunteer...it's going to be a full day but I'm really looking forward to it! Looking forward to anoop and workout and getting some help with my database.god please help me forgive my mom and A. I want them to have the very best for their life and I want them to have serenity, peace, love and joy..may they want everything they have in their life. May they be blessed with abundance of spirit and get to Know you Lord..spirit of the universe. Jesus Allah buddah yajew. God please remove my selfishness, my resentments, and help me look at people with acceptance and love and compassion. God please help me be responsible for my life and help me heal my wounds so that I can truly love myself and others.
Sent from my BlackBerry 10 smartphone.
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