I am feeling very low and tired today. Feeling the wave of sadness and I’ve done some inner child writing and I know that there is a lot of hurt and mistrust there. I read about my conversation with my ACA traveller about A. it’s so so difficult because I miss her, does she miss me , does she care about me, my ACA traveller said I was baited and then rejected and then abandoned. i guess she gave me the gift of letting me go, she is a terrible person.
I have to use the anger and pick myself up. She baited me and then chucked me and I feel awful about that. I am so lonely and love starved. It’s so much effort to get back on my feet to pick myself up when I feel like I’m starting over again, it’s so fucking hard.
I sometimes feel like i’m taking 4 steps back and 1 step foreward every fucking day.
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