Dear God, thank you for the help today. I’m still so dreadfully scared that everything is going to fall down like a house of cards will you please help me dear God. Bless Jonathan for not responding me to god, I don’t know what pain he’s in God. Dear God, bless Mattie, and Ree for getting back to me as well as god bless my mom for getting back to me and the Quebec government for approving my medication and the lovely time at the Gym, thank you God for the stretching and my not overdoing it. I can’t wait to go swimming and I know little K is also going to love it. I feel so grateful for putting together the meals, so very grateful for that and also for getting the onions, and thank you God for the conversation with Nina , very grateful for that as well as Siska’s organizing the group. All I can think about is sex God, everything I want I just want to fuck women, beautiful young women mostly but i’m even attracted to women my age. I feel so shit god, I felt hurt when ben asked for Emilio contact and said hey bro. I feel like shit god, like I’ve got a turned up amygdala and every other man doesn’t ,well I know that’s not true. I like what I’m reading about masculine and feminine and having both but it’s been so fucking hard god. I don’t even know what to say, where to begin, everything has been so hard God. And I thank you for holding on, I than. You precious god. Otherwise I would be an absolute mess.
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