Dear Dear Dear God. I feel terrible , binges 2 nights in a row. I just want to sleep but I watched the show and then i go down the rabit hole of porn, masturbation and binge eating. I'm so fucking tired of this shit but not enough to stop. what the fuck God. Please please help me God. I don't know what to do. I don't know how to put the fear of diabetes, heart disease, fat shaming in me and make it fucking real. Why does this have to be so fucking hard. God are you a motherfucker or what are you there, are you fore real for fucks sake!!
My dear dear boy. Please do not despair my love. I am here, it's getting easier my son. I see you and your growth. I see you and your desire to reach out and ask for help. You did today with Joel and Nina, congrats that was amazing! Keep being truthful my boy, share your struggles and successes. This gives others hope and draws them to you. Do not be afraid my son. I am so glad you are turning to me. It makes me and the other HPs smmile. you are love, you are love, you are loved my dear one. I know you are fearful and have so much pain and sadness to release. Do not fear my little one, the good things are coming you way. your god centered voice is working and you are stating your intentions. finding your voice and expressing your motherfucking self. Watch the anger and rage little one. i am so proud of you for apologizing to Dina today. you really can't stand fakeness and bullshit. Turn to me when the rage comes and anger comes, take a breath my little one , pause , get perspective my little one. Trust me :) We want you to feel whole and love and peaceful. That's all we want for you my son. Peace love and joy , may it be so . Love god.
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