Dear God, I'm just so fucking angry today. So let down by you and I feel so lonely today God and I hate that I use porn and reach for food to deal with the loneliness. I'm so tired of always feeling like I'm defective. The blowback from my Facebook comment and then my sister reacting to my comment by putting me in social media Jail I"m tried of the fucking destruction my anger is causing. I'm tired of trying to control the outside fucking world. I'm tired of wanting the world to love me when I feel so much of turmoil within. I feel like all the crutches that I've had are being thrown away and now I have to deal with me, myself and I and it is so very scary God. So very frightening and real, what the hell God.
My dearest sweet child of mine, Breathe, take in your breath and breathe, all will be okay my son, all will be fine. you are so very loved and anything is possible. I'm so sorry you are feeling frustrated and lonely. I'm so very very sorry. I know you dislike the constant boundary setting from your mom and caretaking feelings. Breathe my son, let it out I'm here for you. I will not leave you, ever! You've had a wonderful social week. You deserve to be happy my love. You deserve to be free from food addiction and you deserve a partner who is light and has worked on themselves. Trust that this person will show up in your life as you find your own inner peace my son. I know it is hard to see it now but it is coming dear one, I promise you.
Lots of love God.
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