Dear God, that was so soul crushing why God is it so hard to put the fucking food down≥ I don’t blame you. Yesterday ou helped me in the store buy something that was okay. I had binged eaten earlier in the day and you led me to a healthier choice so thank you God. The loneliness is crushing God. What an existence i don’t know if i want to live sometimes. Fuck Fuck Fuck. I watched the guy from the up series the one that had mental health issues and it was so very hard to watch. His life was so hard but he didn’t give up. I found it so sad that he had the depression and the brooding moods and still his wife left him, how is someone going to live with me. How god please tell me. All i do is medicate to calm myself down and it’s so fucking hard God. So very fucking hard. So many people have let me down by not replying God, i feel like such a child. So much shitty shame, will my life ever be better God. Is this all there is?
Dearest sweetheart, i love you my dear you are so worthy of my everlasting love. I am so thrilled that you are making this conscious contact with you my love. I am so very sorry that you are going through such a stressful time and the anxiety is coming back up. I am so very sorry my dear boy. I want you to know that I’m here for you, i love you so very much and I will ALWAYS guide you to your next right outcome. Feel all your feelings my love even the despair. It’s okay my love. You can be your true self around me my love you don’t have to pretend to be anything but your true loving self.
Love always,
God.
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