Dear God, I am feeling mellow and chill. I have cut down on the meditation and prayer and it has been hurting me, I feel the effects spiritually, emotionally. Father I’m so hurt by peoples actions to me, when they don’t respond to me after I’ve sent them a message and we have a rapport. I know the wounds are deep and I feel the pain often and I just want to cut them off. Spending so much time to cultivate a relationship and then to cut them off. Please God help me with this, I feel like I will end up alone because I have such a hard time feeling disappointed and let down with people. How do I trust myself and be honest with people when there is so much fear of retaliation and ultimately being abandoned. So much passive aggression acting out, with people like Jeremy, Diana, Amy, it’s caused me so much grief. I’ve also had magical thinking and expecting them to read my mind. Just fucking tired of it.
Dear Dear Dear sweet boy, all is well. Trust the path I am making for you. Walk by that path. All these past hurts and doors closed are your chance to grieve little one. Let go of the shame and hurt my love, we need to cleanse them away. I am here for you. You have had so much repression of feelings my dear boy. So very much. You have had so much hurt my boy. It’s time to feel my love. It’s okay to feel all your feelings little one. We want you to know that you are so very loved and you will be comforted, heard and protected. We won’t let anyone hurt you anymore without our permission. Lots of love and hugs, God.
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