I feel frustrated that I binged on peanuts last night. ..that I can't just sit with myself and enjoy my own company..that I can't do spontaneous things because I don't know what to do or I'm too tired to do anything other than numb out with food. I feel like my inner child is playful and adventurous and wants to be loved but he is so sad and so lonely and doesn't know how to fill the void or express the sadness and despair sometimes.
My inner child feels completely betrayed by my inner parent . I don't want to always reach for food to break the loneliness but it's all I know how to do. It is so very hard and draining 😔
I want to let out the tears of all the loss I felt..of my youth..of my dad passing away..my fractured family. I want to feel the unconditional love that my inner child deserved and rarely received. I want to feel the stability of love and someone to have my back when I make a mistake or fall on my ass and helps me back up. I wish I can stop abandoning my inner child through binge eating and adore and cherish him for the absolute beauty he is.
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